The MINT Prjct

Fatherhood and Fitness with Andre Jones

• The MINT Prjct • Season 1 • Episode 35

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Today we talk with Betsy's husband, Andre Jones who is the co-founder of our very own at-home strength and conditioning program, MomStrong. He opens up about owning a gym while experiencing the highs and lows that came with the news of becoming a parent. He talks about his own experience with their son's birth, the wave of emotions holding his son for the first time, the struggle with sleep training, and how these experiences have reshaped his life. Andre also sheds light on the crucial role of a supportive husband to his wife, as a new mom.

One huge topic we get into is the  shift in fitness priorities that comes with parenthood. Balancing a competitive mindset with an approach centered on health and wellness became essential as parents. In this episode we'll hear how Andre and Betsy adapted their workouts to accommodate their new lifestyle as parents. Their fitness goals   and now are focused on being  fit and healthy enough to be an active part of their son's life. This shaped how Andre programs for MomStrong, allowing moms everywhere to reach those same goals! If you're a dad needing someone to relate to, a mom looking for insight to the man's perception, or a mom curious about the person behind the program, tune in to this one!

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To learn more about The MINT Prjct and check out our programs and courses, head to TheMINTPrjct.com and follow us on Instagram, as well as your hosts, @bets.inthewild, @_coach.cara_ and @jesscarr.fit

Speaker 1:

If you're a busy mom who wants to get strong, keep up with your kiddos, not to mention look and feel amazing without spending hours in the gym, we have good news. Our program, mom's Strong by Mint, strength and Conditioning, is the perfect program for all of the above. Designed with the busy mom in mind, this four day a week program can be done at the gym or at home during nap time in 45 minutes. It is time to get mom strong. For all the details, head to themitprojectcom. Today, guys, we are talking to Andre Jones. He is the hubby of our very own Fetsey Jones, who is our director of operations and co-founder here at Mint. You all know her I love her.

Speaker 1:

She's our little Texas Southern Belle, and her hubby is joining us today. They also have a three year old boy named crew, who is the cutest, and in addition to all of this, andre also programs the workouts for our mom's strong, strength and conditioning workouts alongside Fetsey, and those workouts are amazing. So if you have not tried them yet, you need to. There's a free trial that you can find in the show notes. Andre is also super funny. And he's become a friend, a friend of all of ours, and he's super supportive oh great. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Man, we're just really boosting your ego.

Speaker 2:

You know what? I'm not even this shirtless oh boy.

Speaker 1:

He's also been. Let me, let me, let me, like, bring you down. No, I'm just kidding. No, he's been a huge supporter of the Mint project as well, which we're all grateful for, so we're super happy to have you today. Welcome.

Speaker 2:

Thanks, I'm excited to be here. I've been wanting to talk to you guys for a long time. Yeah, not just weekly, but now here Finally could make it with your busy schedule.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yes, so busy. Okay, so give us some background. Let's start with fitness. Give us some background. What is your history? How'd you get into the fitness industry? What do you love about it? Maybe what do you not love about it, and what are you doing now with it?

Speaker 2:

I have. I mean, I think most people who have been in fitness either started in like a middle school or high school doing some type of sport or well, hell, I guess not Right, like you found fitness after college and now you're a during college, yeah, so anyway, not typical story. I guess I did sports in high school like cross country track. I played a little bit of soccer, but not like. Not like good soccer, Right Like I'm not like, not like you.

Speaker 2:

Like I'm, I'm very, I'm good with the five year olds. So during college I remember my mom and my well, my mom primarily, but my also my sister. I wanted to really get them into health and fitness and obviously working out on my own. I was like how can I get them involved? So they started coming up to my apartment when I was in college working out on the weekends, staying with me on the weekends doing a workout, maybe two workouts, and then I'd go back home Then quickly realizing that's probably not enough.

Speaker 2:

Like two days a week it does wonders. I'm not trying to say two days a week isn't enough, but where they were in their life trying to make really big changes, it just wasn't going to cut it. So then we started. I asked my mom who does hair. I said, could you get some of your friends to do this with you? If I came down to you, which is about an hour away, three days a week, I'll stay the night on the third night and we'll do a fourth day on the Saturday morning. And she got like 18. I think people is what it was and I was like, oh shit, oh my god, this is real.

Speaker 4:

Are we allowed to?

Speaker 3:

say shit, I'm sorry, yes, okay, okay.

Speaker 2:

I'm just kidding, I'm not gonna say whatever, anyway I won't do that. So then that just kind of like steamrolled one thing led to another. We got a facility, a building, that was just concrete floors. I remember having to sweep them all the time because they were so dusty.

Speaker 2:

People brought their dumbbells and left them there and their their yoga mats, and that's what we had oh gosh, and then that just went into the next building and then we bought equipment and then it just kept going and going, going, going, going up until last year. Of June of last year we closed our business down and that was the first part of your question, I think.

Speaker 3:

now what's your fitness? Oh and where's your like fitness yeah?

Speaker 2:

Now I'm wrecking shop. All these kids run here knuckleheads. I'm putting them in the ground. Yeah, I'm smoking. All the dads in the neighborhood. Whatever I need to do to my dominance. So we have it. We have a shed in the backyard. It's about 500 square feet, so we have like a tiny version of a gym there. We went from five thousand square or over five thousand square feet to now five hundred, and it's probably been one of the more fun environments to work out in.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, that's not a business. It's not a business.

Speaker 2:

Now.

Speaker 1:

It's for fun. Yeah, a timeout, it okay. Please don't picture like a shed. It's not Elapidated, it's like no, it is like the nicest shed Times a hundred that you've ever seen and it's very fun to work out.

Speaker 3:

I would agree and I like it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm proud of it it's so nice.

Speaker 1:

You guys did such a good job.

Speaker 2:

Thanks.

Speaker 1:

I feel like picked people are picturing like those little Home Depot sheds, like it's like. It's all more of like a I don't know, Michigan we have full barns, like it reminds me more of that like a really nice pole barn Filled with really good equipment, and lots of people come and see you guys and I keep telling you that you need to charge more.

Speaker 2:

But charge, charge at all. Yeah, yeah that's for another day, it's a whole new podcast. Yes, getting into emotions now, okay.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so now you kind of do fitness in your backyard. Why are you like? Why do you still do it? Why do you still love it, even though you don't have the official business?

Speaker 2:

I think it's always been a passion, right, either working out myself for trying to figure out what's the best way to train, because we don't really know what we do now how it can pay off dividends in the future, and that made us I think, that became way more apparent when then we had our First child, especially for me, where I was like, okay, now I have somebody that needs me when they're older, right, me and Betsy were roughly the same age, so when I'm 60, whatever, she's 60 something too. So, but now crew will be 20, right. So yeah, I want to make sure I'm around for that, and not only around for it, but being able to do and be a part of you know, like I said, I want, I want. If he tells me at 15, dad, I can beat you in a race, I'm like, oh hell, no, right, I want to make sure but it's cool because I think Like I never had this grown up.

Speaker 2:

But I want to be the, the dad where he's like, oh, my dad's strong, oh, my dad kid, you lift a lot of. I want him to say that those things and maybe that's my own pride, yeah, but I want him to be able to know that His dad's there for him and doing the things to help him and whatnot. But, needless to say, so fitness now and the passion for it of helping others is now turned into well, how can I make it to? You know, not necessarily one rep, maxes and things of that sort that were when we were in our 20s, but how can I provide some longevity, moving forward, some different types of training, things that need to be put into programs that allow me to be around for my son when he's older, you know, not be around, but also play with him and and do sports with him If he wants to do that have a quality, quality relationship with him oh yeah, just just being there.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, like very involved. Absolutely yeah that's really cool to hear that, like crew, is a huge reason why you continue with fitness. I know this. Your family in general was a big one of the reasons that you guys decided to close your gym. So let's let's hear a little bit more about, like, your role as a dad. Did you always want to be a dad? Tell us about that.

Speaker 2:

I think I think it was on and off, like when we first started dating early on. It was like, oh yeah, let's have kids. And then that kind of shifted. I know, at least for me and maybe not necessarily her, betsy but it kind of shifted whenever we realized that we were being pulled and Maybe more directions away from that reality being business owners and trying to grow the business and trying to improve the business and trying to hire for the business and always trying to update it. It got pulled us away further from that and it was more like well, I don't know if this is a good time to have kids. I don't know if it's ever gonna be a good time to have kids. When is the right time?

Speaker 2:

Obviously, there's never really a good time, especially when we found out. I mean it was kind of devastating. If I'm being honest with you, yeah, I mean we were, at least for myself, very like I don't want to say depressed, because that's like. That's like the worst of the worst, I guess. But we were, I was very sad for a long time, maybe about two weeks.

Speaker 1:

Cuz, I was like oh.

Speaker 2:

I like one of the things I just bought her a mountain bike and we were gonna start doing that together because I love riding and now I want her to be a part of it. I'm like now we can't mountain bike ever again, you know, I'm like thinking of the worst case ever.

Speaker 4:

You can't do anything over so. So, where you were, were you like mourning, like the life that you had kind of yeah for you weren't really expected.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, cuz it wasn't a planned thing. And then, and then it was like this Quick change, right, like all of a sudden things came into perspective like okay, you know there's no. Well, there are, but there's no real playbook. You take your kid home and you're like, what do I do now? Right, so all that said even in the beginning. Well, I don't know if she told you guys this, but like I got to see crew or hold crew Alone without her for the first time, yeah, and I remember just like balling, holding him, just crying, like and and it's not even the same connection like a mom would have with their child in that moment but but because I didn't carry him for for eight and a half months or whatever it is, and so yeah for Betsy.

Speaker 2:

So like I'm crying there holding them and it doesn't even like I'm like this is my son, but he doesn't even really look like a, like a full-blown child, because he's preemie, he's tiny, he's got these tubes in his nose. I just like what do? What do we do? But now I mean I wouldn't take it back. Like last night I got home from being out of town and I went and grabbed him immediately. He's passed out of sleep and I'm like grabbing him at holding and not just. You know what I mean. And I mean he made me a bracelet. So now it's like everything I do is almost subconsciously now because I'm my dad. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, it changes things Well going. Yeah, piggy backing off of, like you mentioned that you got to hold him first and we heard Betsy's Entire birth story on another podcast. So if you have not listened to that, go back. I don't know several. We all did our birth stories, but Betsy had some traumatic things happen During her birth, leading up to the birth, and obviously was premature crew was premature, but how was that like? We heard what it was like for Betsy, but I know that for a dad it's not necessarily easy either. You're watching this whole thing. Go down, tell us a little bit about what that was like for you to watch her go through that Like. What were you feeling? What was the experience like?

Speaker 2:

One word's probably helpless, right, like yeah, I mean for the most part, other than like Doctors appointments, when we would go in, it's she and I, so if, if something's wrong, she's uncomfortable, I'm helping her, you know, she's telling me what she needs, those kinds of things. But then when we go into, she's good. We go to the hospital because she's in so much pain and there I mean nurses everywhere just Trying to get the heartbeat or trying to find the heartbeat. Her, they're like page her doctor, and I'm just sitting there because I can't do anything. I don't know. I mean I'm not part of this staff, I'm just sitting there and she's in pain.

Speaker 2:

It's just, it's one of those things where you just are watching the car wreck but you can't, you don't know the CPR or you don't know how to get people out, or you're just, you're just, they're like I can't do anything, but it's, it's very wild. I'll tell you what, because it happened and I mean what felt like a blink of an eye and You're trying to calm her down, but you don't know if it's going to be okay. Right, you're like it's gonna be okay, but you're saying things that you're unsure about and I remember they're like dad, we got to go get you in a gown yeah yeah, and they hand me and they're like bringing the photographer in.

Speaker 2:

I mean it's kind of like, it's pretty traumatic, and they're like here's your birth photographer. And she's like what's up? And you know, I'm like get out.

Speaker 2:

So I'm like sitting in the in, like a hallway, in this gown, just waiting for them to be like all right, you can come back now, and she's like taking pictures of me, you know, and it's very surreal moment. But even when they brought me back to where she was, on the table with the like netting or whatever it is, a cloth that blocks what's happening down- here from up here.

Speaker 2:

She's like feeling good. She's like, hey, how are you? She didn't feel a thing. And she's like smiling. And I'm like, dude, we're in it right now.

Speaker 1:

What else did I say yeah, we're in it right now.

Speaker 2:

We're in the car wreck and you're chill, but but you have to be too right. So, like no matter what or at least for me in that moment it was trying to remain calm, trying to be like level head or level headed and I guess you would say strong I don't know all the words you could could use to describe it, but I remember like trying to just be supportive, but all the while like freaking out, which is one of the reasons why I think when I finally held them, I'm like all the emotions just pour out. Yeah, I mean, it was wild. I like I'll never forget some of the things that I saw when they're like pulling him out of her.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, I didn't want to see it.

Speaker 1:

I've heard that from other dads too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but they're like Dad, you want to look and in that moment like I don't do, I don't do blood or like cuts or you know, it's kind of just one of those things that I'm like I don't feel good, I don't pass out, but it's just not my thing. And they're like Dad, you want to look. I'm like yep, and I just hop up and look over the curtain and I didn't know what I was looking at and it's his feet poking out of Betsy and they're like pulling him out you know, and they slip.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, their hands slip. So they put towels around his feet to pull him out. And I'm watching the whole thing. I'm like, oh my gosh. And they're like Betj is like what's going on? They got him.

Speaker 1:

This is crazy.

Speaker 2:

She's like I feel kind of pressure, but that's about it. I'm like dude, they're tugging on you what's happening down there. But honestly, it was just one of those things. I think that obviously I'm grateful for the staff there. They were really helpful, Even the NICU nurses. They're so calm and they're talking to you like oh Dad, you know everything's okay, we got him out, he's gonna be fine, but you don't know, you don't really know, Right? I mean, at least I didn't know. So it's just, it was wild.

Speaker 4:

It's cool to hear your side of it. We don't often hear, you know, I think, girls, moms, women.

Speaker 4:

We talk about birth stories a lot, but oftentimes the, the partner or the husband, the man, doesn't usually come in and say, well, this was my experience in your birth you know, and so it is really cool to hear that side of it Because, I mean, it is very much you're creating a family and this is a very much a family experience, even though obviously it's more women is more experiencing it physically, obviously. But I think, like the partners also, it's very mental, very emotional and physically taxing. I'm sure, just seeing everything that they're going through, whether it's like a very good birth or one that's a little bit more traumatic I think that there's still effects on the partner.

Speaker 2:

Oh, sure, Sure, and it's like I think the because it's, it's, it's. I'm scared at that time because I'm like what if they can't find his heartbeat? What if this is like the? You know, like what if this is the thing that we don't know how it's going to turn out? And then I'm like how am I going to support her, because she's going to be the one that's the most traumatized, I'm assuming, you know, I don't know, I've never been through it.

Speaker 2:

So trying to figure out in my head all the like plans of action or like fire escape plans, essentially to, if this happens, what do we do? Or if this happens, what do we do? Okay, we're moving on to this room. Okay, so what happens if we get in this room and it doesn't work right? There's all these thoughts of what do I do? What do I do for her or for? You know us, of course, but it was just one of those things that it was just, especially because it's just her and I in there. There's no support in there, there's no sister or mom or you know her mom, nobody. And I'm like I'm the only one in here and being able to go through this. But I remember it was crazy when we were on our way to the hospital Number one, I didn't have gas in my truck. That was a whole another thing, and I'm I'm all in ass right.

Speaker 2:

Number two I'm like calling my mom and it's just going to voicemail. Going to voicemail, I call my sister. I'm like Kinsey, you have to go over there and get mom. Oh, you have to wake her up. We're on the way to the hospital. This is the deal, real deal, and we're calling her sister, her mom, and then nobody's can be in there, right, so no one can be a part of this, which I guess is the normal thing anyway. But I remember after, after the, they got crew out and I went out to the, the lobby where they're all at, and I'm just like exhausted, kind of crying, kind of not, and they're like is everything okay? I'm like they got them out, everybody's okay, but you know, I don't know. But yeah, it was a so wild, and this is all pre COVID too, so we're like washing up in the NICU for like five minutes before we can hold them.

Speaker 3:

It's crazy because you think from. I think we both thought that birth was going to be super easy. Pregnancy was going to be super easy because I'd been doing fitness with him for 10 years at least. Well, at that point like six years, so that I think that was a little shocking for both of us that it was not.

Speaker 3:

We had a lot of pride, I think, in our health and our fitness and for that to not kind of end up the end up the way that you would think it would and I know you've been really reflective on not just like the pregnancy and the, the birth and just becoming a father in general but what would you tell dads about that pregnancy experience and the postpartum phase, which for us was a little different, and for I say different, I mean every single birth is different at this point. But yeah, just pregnancy and postpartum. How would you? What kind of advice would you give other dads now that you've been through it?

Speaker 2:

That's a good one. And I say how much time do you all have? I don't know.

Speaker 4:

All the.

Speaker 3:

Just so you know it's part of it.

Speaker 2:

I think the pregnancy one was. That's a weird one. When your wife is pregnant, you don't know what they're going Like. Obviously, if she told me her back hurt right now, I wouldn't know what that felt like, and I think that comes from years of like being in the gym where people would say it's tight in my hips, like I don't know what that feels like, but I'm just taking your word for it. Right, I know, during pregnancy, whenever she would be uncomfortable or fatigued, or I remember we went to watch a race, a triathlon, of a client of mine, she's like my feet are killing me and so we bought shoes, you remember, like recovery shoes. So you just try to be as supportive as you possibly can during. I think that's the only thing that you absolutely can do is just cater to them as much as you possibly can. Most pregnancy I mean Zoloft is my favorite, thing?

Speaker 2:

I don't know, Honestly, I think there's a lot of things that you guys, as women especially, go through post-pregnancy with either. If it's post-partum depression, right, if there's even a small dose of that, it's pretty intense and you don't Again, you're helpless, but you don't know what it feels like to be in those moments. So it can be very easy to dismiss it right, or not dismiss it per se, but be like I'm sorry. You feel that way when really that's kind of like a cry for help, if you think about it.

Speaker 2:

When people are like I feel this way, I just don't know what's wrong with you, you're like, well, I'm sorry, but really what needs to be said or talked about, I would think is like well, what can we do to help, especially if they're wanting? I guess that's the key, right? Do you want help, or are you just venting? And if you want help, let's try to figure that process out. But if you're just here just to talk, that's fine too. I can hear that and say oh, I'm sorry, you feel that way. I think that's a good one is distinguishing.

Speaker 1:

Trainers, did you know that 85% of women will become pregnant in their lifetime? This means that you will work with pregnant and post-partum clients, so get the information you need to safely and effectively guide your clients through this chapter of their fitness journey and become an expert in the space. Not only will you learn about movement, you'll learn about nutrition and mindset, from fertility through pregnancy to post-partum, as well as how to market yourself as a professional in this space. You'll interact with the mint experts throughout the course, giving you the guidance and accountability. To finish and get to work. Head to themintprojectcom and go to the Education tab to learn more.

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 2:

The difference.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like we need to say that on repeat, that there are times that we are just venting and we don't necessarily need you to fix things. That's a huge. I love that you said that because, and again, guys don't know this unless we say it. But, yeah, there are times where it's like I just really need you to support me right now, but also, dads don't know what we need unless we verbalize that. So I think communication is huge. Speaking of the post-partum phase and what Betsy was going through as crew came in and became integrated into your lives, was it initially what you thought it would be Like? Was it hard for you initially with the way your life was changing, or what did those early weeks and months look like?

Speaker 2:

Chaos, right. So we had them in November of 2019 and then March of 2020, they were like, hey, you're shutting down, right Because COVID Dude I remember because we were just kind of following guidelines, I remember if you had to be quarantined for two weeks before you could see anybody, or whatever the case may be, and he got.

Speaker 1:

COVID yeah yeah, that's right. Oh my gosh, I forgot about that.

Speaker 2:

When we came back, remember. So I remember during lockdown, and this was one of the things that is vivid in my head. We're going through like the sleep training, right, we're trying to do the cry it out, but we're also new parents. So you're like, was he okay, right? But I remember one time he cries. This is what I don't understand. People will say, well, yeah, but she gets up with him whenever, or her, whoever, the baby you know, because she has to breastfeed. I'm like, yeah, but I still hear it, I'm still awake, we both are awake or woke up, but she's the one doing it or I'm the one doing it, whatever, but regardless. So she gets up, he's crying one night and I can hear him still crying and she's been in there for a minute and I get up. I'm like, okay, well, let me go see if I can do anything. And I get up and she's in the rocker holding him and he's kind of crying and she's balling like in silence, just crying. And I remember going, oh, my gosh, I got it.

Speaker 2:

Let me have it go to sleep and.

Speaker 2:

I remember finally getting him to calm down and we just fell asleep in the chair. But I remember that was basically the moment where we like she, sent out an SOS to her mom and my mom, we need help, and so I'm quarantined for two weeks and then came and lived with us for about two weeks to help so we could just get a great night's sleep at least once. But that was hard. I mean honestly, whenever he I think it's hard for everybody, which I don't think that anybody likes to talk about it. They want to be superheroes, but to hell with that, it's hard.

Speaker 1:

It's hard, it is hard, it's so hard, but you don't know what you're doing. You don't feel like you know what you're doing.

Speaker 2:

I'm not sleeping or waking up in the middle of the night and crying. It's hard because you're sleep deprived. Then those dudes start crawling and they start walking and it's like, okay, well, this is hard. Then they start talking and you're like, whoa, what did you just say? That's hard. Now they have emotions. Now it's hard. That's a different hard. I'm like shit, if he could just sit in a car seat in a rocker and just sleep all day. That's kind of nice.

Speaker 1:

It's kind of nice. That was easy, that was funny, the phases change. Yeah, yeah, phases change, and then you miss the other phases.

Speaker 4:

That's crazy.

Speaker 1:

But go ahead, Kir.

Speaker 4:

I was going to say well, you always done such a good job supporting Betsy. I feel like, just as a side note, when we have our meetings, most often Andre comes in and brings Betsy like a sandwich or like a lunch and nicely prepared lunch and just delivers it to her in the middle of her meetings.

Speaker 1:

Really not fair yeah.

Speaker 4:

I know I'm like what the heck? So you just do such a great job supporting her and it was cool to hear that story where you were aware enough to go in and check on her and just be like, okay, let me take over for a minute. You're also very supportive in making sure that Betsy gets her self-care, in which, for her, is her fitness. That's part of her self-care. How would you advise other dads to be supportive of their wives during their fitness or what are some of your techniques that you use to help support her so she can get that in?

Speaker 2:

So it's funny you say this because and her sister is very similar to her they're like twins but not twins, and so they're the ones I'm the most, oh, sister.

Speaker 1:

Margaret.

Speaker 2:

They're the ones I'm.

Speaker 1:

Oh, we love Sister Margaret. Shout out to Sister Margaret.

Speaker 2:

They are very similar, like they'll, they'll just work and then maybe miss lunch and be like oh I forgot to eat lunch, which is whatever if it happens once in a while, but it's not okay from. I mean, she needs her brain power. That's primarily one of the things that she is on the computer doing is using her brain, and she needs this food and nutrients. So, number one if, if we don't stay on top of each other, but also vice versa, like if I don't stay on top of her about our food, then it's just not going to happen. Number two the hardest thing, I think, is because we're very we're not biased, but we've been in this industry for so long that we understand the value of health and fitness.

Speaker 2:

I was just talking to a guy yesterday at a conference I was at, and I don't know this guy. I just met him and we're just talking, getting to know each other, and what do you do? How long have you been doing whatever? And I told him my story, like I had a gym for 11 years, blah, blah, blah. And he starts talking about himself and I said dude, listen, I'm going to tell you something that I've been thinking about for a long time.

Speaker 2:

There's two things I think nothing nobody can take from you. Number one is your mental capacity. Unless it's taken like, unless you have some type of mental disease or whatever it may be, but meaning you can be as smart as you want to be, you can read books, you can study, you can learn like you can be the smartest guy in the room. Some of the most successful people are smart. So that's number one. Number two if you love sports or athletes in general, it's because they're physical prowess, like they are physically fit and you can do the work to be physically fit and for the most part it's relatively free If you just do pushups and situps and squats in front or whatever right Walk. Even those two things you can't be taken from you. Your house, for whatever reason, could be taken from you, your car, you know your possessions, but those two things you can have. And, like I said, we've been in the industry for so long but I'm telling him this Like man, maybe I need to get back into it again and I'm like, yeah, why should you? Should that you're the only two things that you can have, that say that they are yours. So I know the value I think we could preach about all day long how beneficial it is from a mood standpoint, from a self-confidence standpoint, from how you feel in a relationship, whether that's you feel sexy or you feel attractive and you feel connected, how you feel with your children, or how you interact with them and how you set them up.

Speaker 2:

If I can tell you how many people adults that we've talked to like I struggled with this my entire life and they they hate it or they are really upset with themselves for struggling things for so long, then why would you want that for your children, right? Why would you ever want that for your kids? If you know the struggles that you've gone through, you don't want them to have those same struggles. So let's all do something about it, and it's simple things. Playing sports with them makes people more active. Walking with them makes people more active. You may not have a gym in your backyard, but gyms aren't necessary in order to be fit.

Speaker 2:

I just think it's crazy to know what we've built over the past 11, 12 years with consistency when it comes to working out that there's no way in hell that we're going to let that go. You know what I mean, and I don't mean this. I say this before. I've said this before, but a lot of our relationship is obviously communication or we spend a lot of time together. So time like a love language, if you time spent together, or quality time, whatever, whatever. But also one of those things is attraction Right, I'm physically attracted to her and hopefully vice versa, so. So I want to upkeep that for her right, like I want. I don't want her to ever look at me and be like I was once physically attracted Not that she would do that because we love each other, but also it might happen. I don't want that. And same thing for her, like I want to remain physically attracted to her. And so many other things. So we just hold each other accountable in that right.

Speaker 3:

Well, so I was going to say does it. It sounds like your advice for dads to support their wives would be to be an example and invite them along with you.

Speaker 2:

Would you say that would be the more effective way to get your wife to work out is to like.

Speaker 3:

Well, how about do it as a family?

Speaker 2:

Well, and let me be clear, I don't think working out is the key to unlocking like I don't know, like connection. In that sense, it doesn't have to be yeah. Yeah. I think supporting them in whatever they want to do is key, like starting a business with two of her friends right, or deciding to do photography, or whatever it is she decides she wants to try and be a part of.

Speaker 2:

Next, I think it's very important because if you're going to spend your life with this person, then you should be able to be their biggest fan, their biggest supporter, the biggest contributor to whatever it is they're doing and, all the while, be happy for them when they do have success. So you'd be there to support them if they don't have success, whatever it may be. But in our case specifically, we have the opportunity or luxury to be able to have a gym to work out in, and so I know that it's good for her, her mental, her mental capabilities, like she just feels better when she says that that was a good workout. I know she feels good about it and I know she feels good about herself.

Speaker 2:

So I'm going to help her continue to do that. So that way she feels good. I'm going to point out things that I know she likes to do in the gym. Hey, you should do this one, because it's X, Y and Z. You're going to love it. So that way she feels that support, but also a little nudge to go do it.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So how has all of that experience fitness, having the gym, knowing what each other love about fitness how does that shape the way Because you guys program, like we said, our strength and conditioning program? How has all of your experience now shaped how you program this program, which is specifically designed for moms? Knowing what you know about all of this?

Speaker 2:

So, number one, I think Betsy does a good job of thinking of the mom Um, because I'm not, obviously I'm not a mom, but so she can look at it and be like you know what. I think it might work a little bit better and she'll tweak it, but I do think, like I said earlier, longevity playing a little bit of role in in what we do. And it's not to say that deadlifts are or are not built for longevity, or squats are or are not, but there are movements in there that can help mitigate some potential injury risks. There are some movements in there, or even warm up techniques or prehab techniques, that can be put into a program that can help mitigate some of those opportunities for injury. But, more importantly, what I think that we um are driven towards more now, and there's nothing wrong with being a competitive athlete. I really don't think that there's anything wrong with that, especially if that's what you want to do in life, um, then you need to have those types of programs.

Speaker 2:

But I would argue that the majority of people that are working out aren't competitive athletes and maybe they do like a five K on the weekend or, you know, like a uh, a high rocks or maybe a CrossFit competition every now and then, but for the most part, they're not competitive athletes, um. So giving them workouts that are opportunities to advance their fitness and their health and their wellness, but but not at a at a rate that could potentially put them in danger. Because if we know anything about fitness from our 11 years of doing this and in a in a gym environment, is that I've seen people pass out upside down in the handstand pushup. I've seen people land on their back because they fell off of a pullup bar. I've seen people um hurt their shoulders through trying to catch a muscle up on a rings and it going south.

Speaker 2:

I mean tearing your hands apart. I like I've seen it all and I've been a part of some of those things too. And at what cost is that beneficial for the everyday mom that is just taking care of her kids and and maybe um cooking dinners? Or I mean, you don't want to cook dinners with torn hands? Right, like you. Just it's not necessarily Um ideal. Or you don't want to wash your kids' hairs with torn hands? Or if you hurt your shoulder now you can't hold your baby anymore, right, like these things that potentially put them at risk that there's other opportunities or other movements out there that could be more beneficial. So we just kind of think about that in the grand scheme of things. So we don't do a lot of those movements anymore just because there's not that much bang for the buck, you know.

Speaker 3:

Well, I will say that, like the way he writes the program is a good balance of, because I think that one of the reasons that we liked doing that is the like mental win, right that you're doing some cool thing. It feels cool to do that. So I think you've done a good job in writing the program to be still a little bit of balance of that, like you'll still get a little bit of complexity here and there, or like cleans, let's say, more cleans and snatches, or going fast and having that competitive of okay, how much can I get done in a certain amount of time, because that's still rewarding and fun. But also, how are these movements going to help me do the things I need to do? Like pick up a three year old and twist into the car multiple times a day, and so then the way our workflows work is. Then I plug these into small equipment that you could probably have in your home gym and get it done in nap time. It's great.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know a lot of the times I do them at my gym, but then I also work out at home sometime and I don't have as much equipment here and they're easily doable there too. Yeah, I love everything you said and I think that's really the goal for most moms. Like you said, that's my goal right now. I mean, I used to be a little bit more competitive. I still have some of that competitive knack too, which is why I love that some of the workouts do have, and it's more of a competition with myself, right, like I'm not competing with anyone else.

Speaker 1:

I just want to say, hey, did I get stronger week over week? And if not, that's okay too. Like some weeks I don't feel as great, but I'm still kind of monitoring what I'm lifting, I'm still trying to get strong, I'm still trying to be aerobically fit. So that's built into there too, and just, yes, it feels like a program that I could do for the rest of my life, which is also what I really love. And there's like a huge emphasis on your core and, like you said, prehab like you're always warmed up, you're always like taking care of things before going into lifting. So kudos to you guys.

Speaker 1:

Thank you Anything else, andre, that you would like to add for the dads out there, the partners out there, in supporting their partner, or maybe even just like when they're thinking about their own health and fitness and why that's important as a dad as well, sure.

Speaker 2:

I think one of the first things I would say is that life is freaking hard right, and it doesn't matter what you do. You could love your job, you could hate your job, you may not have a job, it doesn't matter. I think life is, no matter what, going to be challenging and everybody has different challenges. Of course, some we would look at and say, oh that's, I don't know how you do that, but they do right. So everybody has different challenges and you know difficulties, I guess you could say.

Speaker 2:

But one thing I think I've stumbled upon as of late, which is one being open, like being open to how you feel, how it makes you feel, you know, like struggles in your life, because when we close the gym for lack of a better way of explaining it it was kind of like a death in the family, because that was like our community, it was our people, we saw these people every day and that was more so. How I was wired to work is being on, like, I would say being on, but like personality was on all the time. Socially, it was a big part of our life, right, yeah, so going to working from home, oh man, I was like a kick in the face and it was so difficult, but, as of late, I'm like okay, if I'm going to be the best father that I can be for my son, I need him to understand that there are ways to cope, that there are ways to talk. There are emotions that you go through, that you need to be able to discuss. It's okay to cry.

Speaker 2:

To me, I want to be the Mel role model for him to be able to go on and live his life with values or tips and tricks or knowledge, I guess you could say, to be able to live his life and start his life when he's an actual adult and carrying on. And so I'm doing therapy now to try to work through all the things that I've had go on in life, which is not near some other people, what they've gone through, but still because I want to show him that it's okay to talk about your feelings, that it's okay to you know, and I'm also not trying to make him soft either.

Speaker 2:

I want him. You know what I mean. I want him to work, I want him to learn things.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, there's a balance.

Speaker 2:

You know, I've been listening to a shit ton of podcasts about masculinity and I'm like it's shaping, it's changing and there's this word toxic masculinity going around and that kind of stuff. But honestly, I think, if you're doing the best you can with your child and constantly searching for new ways to be better at that thing, that you're doing your job. Like the programming, we're always looking for new ways. Being a person yeah, being a person yeah, but we're always looking for new ways to have a better outcome or better solution, and so now I'm doing those things. So I would say to the dance that you need just as much space as the moms do to be able to work on yourself. Right, you need to. If you need therapy, just go man. It's not that big of a deal, it's not taboo, it's not bad to talk to somebody, and it's not your buddy, that's not therapy, because they're just going to be like, yeah, fuck that with you. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, but but you know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

They're going to be right on your side, but you need an unbiased party.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You need somebody like that, yeah, on top of that, like, make space for yourself to take care of yourself, right. Get in the gym or go for a walk, or go for a bike ride or do whatever it is you want to do, but make time for yourself as well. But also, if you take an hour, she gets an hour. Or do it together, right, that you both share the hour, whatever it is, but you know.

Speaker 3:

Make your wife sandwiches.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Paninis.

Speaker 4:

Oh, even snap up yeah.

Speaker 2:

That looks so good.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, I love that because I feel like parenting is a partnership and it's I don't know. I grew up in a household where and this might not be everyone's story I do feel like it has changed as of the last I don't know, maybe 10 years or so but my mom stayed home, my mom did everything with us. My dad worked all day, got home late. We didn't see him much. He didn't like do a lot of the things with us, and now it's like I feel like dads are stepping up, or a lot of dads are stepping up and actually helping. They're being so involved, they're cooking, they're taking the kids to stuff, because also now a lot of moms are working right. So being a partner to your wife is so important. So I love that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, very much so when can people follow you, Andre? I got all the links, All of them.

Speaker 2:

No, I don't have any. I just have what is my Instagram called.

Speaker 1:

It's jra-just-living. There's some underscores in there, we'll put it in the show notes. It's very confusing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm sorry I could have just put dad Andre Justin Jones. Yeah, my full name.

Speaker 1:

Andre Justin Jones.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

All right. Well, we'll drop it in the show notes. You share some good work and really cute things of crew. Hey, thanks. Thanks for coming on. Thanks so much.

Speaker 2:

Andre, you're welcome. Thank you, guys.

Speaker 1:

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